| "I'm not sure, if I am not, now, when I was, ever, as you say, myself." |
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| this is one of those scenes... |
[29 Jun 2008|10:53pm] |
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currently none |
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This is one of those scenes in the movie, that should be a surprise, but for some reason or another is to be expected.
The whole gang sittin around a room talking about their last adventure, when suddenly... footsteps on the stairs, someones walking down the hallway he stops at the door and throws it open, from the hallway that is all too bright (some would say much too bright) A dark silhouette, a recognizable shape... and then as the camera adjusts and pans back we see who this intruder really is... is it the dashing young hero? its... its????
ME ha ha, it came to me in a dream (honestly) my old user-name and password, who'da thunk it? I certainly would not have, I remembered a whole new way to bug people from afar (besides the telephone)
well thats about it... I dont really remember (as my last login was 101 weeks ago) how to navigate this whole thing so msg me if any of u are still here.
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[21 Jul 2006|11:34pm] |
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Mr Bojangles – Robbie Williams |
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Myspace is trying my patience, with its weird terms -such as: Blog (wtf is that), <- thats the only one I can think of off the top of my head. (but you get what I mean)
I had for a moment, second thoughts about going... but I cant seem to think of any reason to remain here.
I'm restless, I wanna go and do and see as many things as possible I look out at the roads sometimes and I just wanna keep going. (sounds korny, but I am told it's called, if I'm not mistaken, "Wanderlust.") At this point I sigh! *SIGH*
Other than "Hello again!" and the last paragraph, I dont know what else to say, so I'll leave it at that!
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[20 May 2006|10:35am] |
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I would just like to say a fond farewell to all ( 2 ) of my loyal LJ fans, thanks for posting... heh heh I'll try to post if I can, but if I dont I'll say G-bye now! its my last week at work and I am doing absolutely wonderful (my boss is in piss poor attitude mode) And I've never had such a good week, I hope the next one is just as good.
So anyone? everyone? Sushi? Fishing? anything? yes/no maybe.... U could post but I dont know if I would get to read it.
bye bye, I'll miss you LJ *hugs*
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[15 May 2006|09:32am] |
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I'm quitting my job, I have much more important things to do... Oh and the fact we're moving, so I cant stay anyways. Scott's chosen a house not very far from my dad, which is surprising (but I doubt the decision had anything to do with me). So I'm going even further away, from everyone I've ever known. So I figured as long as I will never see any of my old friends again, that I might as well make it official - so just 6 days ago I went down to a Naval Recruiting office and sat down with a Mr. David McGriff (reminds me of McGruff - the drug dog, anyways) I am enlisting, lucky for me I only have to lose 8 lbs which isnt that bad becuase every wed and thur they work out at a Sublett Park -Not too tough, but after two days of that... I felt like every inch of me got hit with a sledge hammer- Ouch! I should have worked out more before all this, but it doesnt matter now. So give it about two weeks and I will be jobless, and as much as I complained about it I wont miss it that much XP.
I could prattle on about meaningless things that have nothing to do with anything but I wont.
-crap I just did.
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[15 May 2006|08:59am] |
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Hey
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[31 Mar 2006|01:53pm] |
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I've loved you all along |
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I'm still here, no worries and most better than ever. As of two days ago I am no longer sick, it took a month but now I feel absolutely fantastic. All my bills are paid and I have a steady income, which is even better. My dreams as of late have been filled with all that is chaotic as usual, save the last week where I had odd dreams that had oldies theme songs (music at work 103.7) *shudders*. Other than that, that's all... I hope to see you guys soon.
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| I live in a nuthouse! |
[10 Mar 2006|02:09pm] |
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sounds like elevator music |
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yep! these people are crazy, how in the world I am related to them confuses me. An for all of you that care (I don't, but my mom felt like it was information I need to know; Chuck norris' birthday is today he's gonna be 66 oooooh.) My job is still well, old ladies keep buggin me asking what gets this outta this or is this any good - uhh dollar general products - OF COURSE NOT! well anywayz. I cant tell you guys how much I miss ya'll all of ya, I have little to no friends out here and I find myself staring at the ceiling (kinda bored/ lonely) all too often. Good news tho, I did get in touch with one of my old friends from Wal-mart today at work -thank god for texting- my favorite crazy chica! Carmen - ask randy he knows her! so yea thats all... stop reading... now! *sigh* what am I gonna do with you!! And that's that and this is this!
Olny srmat poelpe can raed tihs.
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you
can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!
if you can raed tihs psas it on !! If not, ist ok to be sutipd! Yuor mmama slitl lveos you!
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| Interesting! |
[08 Mar 2006|01:01pm] |
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stupid soap opera music |
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well work is fun! okay this is really hard, optimism is painful... (ponders what to say) sadly some old people smell good, others do not!!! I saw that movie "Zathura" with the kids... it was interesting.
This is crazy, the last week and a half have felt like months every waking hour just drags on... but things are clearer. I think back to the last 6 months and they dont even seem to ever have existed, but thats a good thing... right? So, lets hang out phil, you have my number (thanks for bothering me with the prank call you felt you had to do!!!) I really appreciate the sentiment <- convincing? I hope so (hides weapon of your destruction in trunk of car).
well I'll talk to you guys' later.
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[03 Mar 2006|01:18pm] |
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commercial music |
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BAM! I need to get outta here, at least for a day or two! I am going crazy here, too many kids to much yelling too much smoking and the constant confined feeling I get in this house full of 6 people 7 cats and 1 dog... too much! I honestly considered while driving around one day, (just a brief instantaneous thought)of just shifting and going right into oncoming traffic... suffice to say I didnt do it but the fact that I had that thought unerves me, not that I would do it, or ever actually give it any more thought than the instant it appeared but I take that as a sign that I need a break from these people. Just a tiny one!
I am tired of watching moms soap operas, those are driving me crazy too! And even tho I have pulled a lot of dramatic trash out of my hat, these shows are just way too much and so are the commercials that air during them (a sport utility vacuum - WTF)?...?...?...
Not all things are bad here, I got a job at the local general store (dollar general) the kind where all the old ladies gather around inside and just go there to be there, and talk the kind where everyone there knows everyones name and know the usual of what they are getting there... like an olde country store but filled with a lot of old and a lot of weird people! (wait its the same thing) -sigh-
I was told that I complain too much, I wonder quite honestly if its true... and judging from my posts it seems it might be a distinct possibility! So I am going to try (after this post) to make as many of the next posts that I post less complaintative (is that a word?) basically I will stop talking and dwelling on the bad things that occur and actually try to see the proverbial "light at the end of the tunnel" and start writing about the important and/or the good/happy things that occur.
wow I think I lost even myself in this post but whatever basic information you can glean from it I hope its positive or in the very least will make you smile!
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| well hello |
[01 Mar 2006|07:50am] |
yes I am back, tho from where I have no clue! once again I have internet so I will take advantage of every second of it... To update and fill you guys in!
Apartment is gone because the rest of the roomates couldnt find jobs in time to pay for it so I left and so did they! I miss all my old friends (as if you guys didnt already know that!) Sadly tho, I am living with my mother not fun I promise! I have a job at the dollar general and an interview for quizno's! I am constantly being assaulted by those affiliated with Justin because they are looking for him and cannot find him, so if anyone knows where he is at please give me a call! ummm thats all i guess, sorta, Phil gimme a call sometime we should hang out ride ostrich's, G-bye ya'll.
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[25 Dec 2005|03:42am] |
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Did I really only know you for 2 weeks? Sad, yes! but true... we didn't even all go out for sushi! Joseph's friend and co-worker brittney is gone! She was kinda forced to move, Ill constraints and the like! She was over a lot, a welcome and becoming addition to our home and, until her abrupt departure, a very loyal friend. She's gone, probably never to return, but... I of the 5 roommate's will acknowledge her presence and actual existence. Suffice to say she provided an interesting couple of weeks, lessons learned, lessons taught... equal exchange, and I really will miss her. I hope, for her sake, that she'll settle into her new residence as easily as she did here! BYE BRITTNEY!
And following on her heels is joseph, he too, is leaving... tho with more notice in advance. I'll miss him too, I've come to think of him as almost family, but as are the way of things, change must occur... Despite how much I hate it! I knew you only 4 months, time seems to have flown, but drug its feet on the way, leaving a path fraught with fun, fear, crazy jokes... and more learning! (<- school prepared us for this). I will miss you as well... BYE JOSEPH!
So many influential people have played a part in my life, staying only until a lesson is learned or unlearned, or staying at my side. Tho neither of the two will read this, tho I hope they do, I know... if they don't, that they have been incredible influences and an important part of my life, and I thank them for what they taught! or didn't teach, "from every individual a lesson will be taught, whether it is learnt re-ly's completely upon the student's willingness to open his heart and mind."
All I can do is sigh, and say goodnight, "tomorrow, yesterday will be spoken of as the good ole days." Merry Christmas!
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[17 Dec 2005|11:47pm] |
I ask and I ask and the only answer I get is to end it, "if the hand commits as sin, cut it off; if the eye commits a sin... then gouge it out.
one thing after another, ones most prized wish... granted, then suddenly wretched from your grasp because it was all foul trickery. It happens all the time, I wonder if its my destiny to be emotionally crushed completely, with no escape from treacherous torment unending. Betrayed by everyone who I had thought cared for me, my parents, my friends, my co-workers.
I'm never spoken to anymore, I recieve barely a glance, a muffled responce (similar to a cough)...
I've done nothing to wrong them, but they've withdrawn. I'm alone again, aloof from society... merry christmas!
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| Untouchable!! |
[17 Dec 2005|01:23am] |
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I am the leper, the hated and the reviled... a curse and a burden to society.
Within my chest no heart exists... only a void never to be filled, never to be loved.
That's my purpose in life, I am the revolting obstacle in the way, the soon to be triumphed.
I am that which god speaks of as the enemy to salvation, I bar the way... I lead the saints astray.
Untouchable, unspeakable, filthy, heathen... all that are looked upon in disgust!
That! is my role on this world... this heavenly stage!
I am the agony that pains your world, the unholy plague that is loosed upon the innocent!
That which hath been cast from society, the loathsome serpent that speaks only deceit!
I am despicable, the horrific nightmare that haunts your waking hours.
Created by pain, the child of the raped mother...
A great destroyer, I am that hideous annihilation that will soon be brought about!
Distance thyselves from my presence, for only death will follow in my wake!
Pain and the suffering are my purpose...
Just as gods play has been written, with each actor a role... I am the antagonist
I only await my imminent defeat by the hands of my creator.
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| All in a Nutshell |
[13 Dec 2005|10:12pm] |
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Gorillaz - of course!!! |
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Family problems abound, my mommy needs a vacation (she's being driven to the brink of insanity by her almost husband and her kids!!! Dad's about to sell the house here and he's moving out to justin Tx (bye dad, bye sharon I know I wont be missed!
Me and the assistant manager of walmart got into a yelling match for about half an hour, fun but not so much!
Justin an I made a pact thing sorta... we are on a lot better terms YAY! Friends!
Went to the Wal-mart christmas party just an hour ago (presents for everyone raffle) I didn't get one tho! I didn't get one last year either so it's not too bad!
Got a new movie in the snack bar, "Kronk's New Groove" I give it two thumbs up, a must see! Joann still sucks, she tried to get me in trouble with one of the managers today... suffice to say she didn't get what she wanted, I played nice and thoughtful... they bought it!
my nose is all better now, Nichole gave me some shitty Ice it totally screwed up my nose! I didn't even get that good of a buzz but I guess I deserve that I knew better than to get it from her... everyone else at work says her stuff sucks anyways! o well better luck next time!
Laptop's still awesome, life's not! I got a Gorillaz cd it's pretty trippy, and all the songs blend together very well... I like it! you don't have to, tho as to who "you" are is questionable!
well I have tomorrow off so I am going on "vacation" myself... so... bye!
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| !caution, dont read if you dont really care! This means you! |
[09 Dec 2005|12:54am] |
Sometimes I wonder why I wake up in the morning. I wonder what life would be like if I was someone or somewhere else, but then again who doesn't? Sadly tho I have fallen in with the wrong crowd whos only escape from their pathetic lives are the massive amounts of alchohol, and or drugs, they consume or smoke on a daily basis. Mostly I can't complain because it works very well, I know the problems are still there but, for a while, they're gone and so am I!
I got to see my brother, the 241 mile drive to colorado city with my mom in the passenger seat and my 10 yr old annoying lil brother in the back seat was fun, but it was worth it nathanial slept after a while and the entire trip was a riot with my mother (I've never really had that much fun with her!) tho the prison thing was depressing the ride back was as fun as the ride there.
Tho he doesnt know it, I'm kicking justin out the day before the day before christmas, so pretty much the 23rd. Harsh yes I know, but I want him to feel the immense dislike that I have for him
::quick detour::
bout 2 weeks ago, things were all good with me and justin, needless to say he opened his mouth and the usual sewage spilled out... I retaliated and he threatened me with a knife! So after having enough of that I punched him in the face he pissed out and walked away. (I really was looking forward to beating the crap out of him)
::done::
Anyways Joey's back with the drinks, and I feel like getting blazed outta my mind so yea... goodnight!
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| yay |
[01 Dec 2005|07:06pm] |
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not just yea but heck yea you have no idea!!! I now have a laptop one of the best if i may add, and at the moment i am typing on it merry christmas to me woot! today has been absolutely wonderful, i get to go see my brother whom i have not seen in 6 years this saturday, i got a laptop, and i feel pretty good yay! glad to hear about ya'lls lives hope they continue... bye!
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[18 Nov 2005|02:12am] |
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the candy man |
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I feel old! I woke up last night remembering all these things I used to
do, who I used to hang out with... watching FMA on a school night,
growling at random strangers, the crazy sailor moon dude, Just
everything... and its all gone... they wern't kidding when they said
those are the best times of your life, (even tho, at times it didnt
feel like it) I miss everyone... Its just crazy to think I'll never
talk to you guys again! (or I could just be going crazy!)
( tha candy man can )
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[15 Nov 2005|01:00am] |
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Why, my friends and my brothers, were our medieval ancestors - unsophisticated and unlettered in their ways - so much more God-fearing than people today? But I speak the answer even as I ask the question. Because they had the fear of God. They knew what rewards awaited the chosen few in heaven. And they also knew what awaited the sinful, the wicked, the lazy and unbelieving.
The fault lies not just with the people. Today's clergy are even more at fault. They sugarcoat the word of God, make light of his warnings, tell their flocks that hell is merely a metaphor or an antique concept with no actual reality. Gods love is expansive and forgiving, they tell us. They lull their flocks into a false sense of entitlement. As if a baptism here, a few good deeds there, a communion or two, is a ticket to heaven. My friends, this is a tragic mistake.
Gods love is a tough love. In this city, as in all great cities, people die every day. They die by the hundreds. At what point do you suppose all those poor souls begin to realize the real fate that lies in store for them? At what point do the scales fall from their eyes and they learn their entire life has been a lie – that they've spent it running from the light ever deeper into the darkness – and that they now have nothing but unimaginable torment to look forward to? There is no way to know for sure. But I believe at least some people have a glimpse of it in their last moments. I believe that, for these people, there is a creeping sense that something is terribly wrong: something far, far worse than the act of dying itself. In those last moments, as the soul begins to separate from the body, the very fabric of everyday reality is ripped asunder. And suddenly they can see into the void beyond. Then comes a terrible oppression; overwhelming fear; rising heat. They cannot scream, they cannot flee. This is no panic attack that will pass; this is merely the foretaste of what is to come. This is a step onto the first tread of the long stairway down into hell.
And what is hell itself like? Our ancestors were told it was a burning lake of fire, of sulfur and brimstone. In which one was eternally submerged. A terrible furnace whose flames bring no light. But merely darkness made visible. And in a simpler time, such a depiction was enough.
Mind you. I do believe this is hell for some. But it is not the only hell. There are countless hells, my brothers and sisters. There is a hell for each of us. Lucifer may be no match for our God. Yet he was a very mighty angel indeed, and as such, has powers far beyond our poor comprehension.
You must remember something, and remember it always: Lucifer, the devil, was cast out of heaven because of his overmastering envy and evil. In his implacable jealousy, his unquenchable thirst for revenge, he now uses us as his pawns. Just as the rejected child hates a favored rival, he hates us for what we are: beloved children of God. And which of us can hope to comprehend the depths of his bottomless rage? Each human he corrupts, each soul he takes, is for him a victory: a fist shaken up at God.
He knows our individual weaknesses. Our petty desires; he knows what triggers our vanity or our greed or our lust or our cruelty. We have no secrets from him. He has handcrafted temptations for each one of us’ he has strewn out path with a thousand ways to veer into darkness. And once he has successfully lured a soul into his kingdom – once he has won, yet again- do you think Satan will be content to leave that soul in a generic hell? Think again, my friends: think again. He who knows all our weaknesses also knows all our fears. Even those we may not know ourselves. And to complete his victory, to make his victims suffering supreme, he will fashion each individual hell to be the most unendurable for its particular inhabitant. And worst of all, it will be a hell that lasts forever. And ever. And ever. For some, that may well mean burning in a lake of fire. For others, it may mean an eternity nailed up in a black coffin, motionless, lightless, speechless, as insanity doubles and redoubles over long eons. For others, it might mean, say, eternal suffocation. Imaging that for a moment, my friends. Imagine that you’ve held your breath for two minutes, maybe three. Imagine the desperate need for oxygen, the exquisite torture. And yet in hell, there is no release of breath, no drawing in of good sweet air. Nor is there the blankness of oblivion. There is simply that moment of maximal agony, prolonged forever.
Other hells might be more subtle. Imagine the man who always feared going crazy, doing so over decades or even centuries. And then beginning the process over. And over. Or imaging the doting mother. Forced to watch – again and again and again- how after her own passing her children slide into poverty and neglect, drug addiction, depression, maltreatment, and death.
Take a moment to think of the very worst hell you could imagine for yourself. And then realize that Satan, who knows you even better than you know yourself, could fashion one far worse. And he will, he already has. In anticipation. Because he has only one slave for his bitter pain: the despair, the desperate pleadings, the cries and sufferings of his victims. I’ve said there was a hell for each of us. That hell is there, waiting for each one of you. Satan has made your hell so very easy to find, with a wide and comfortable road leading straight to it. It is far, far easier for us to go with the flow, to stroll unthinking down that broad pleasant avenue, far easier than to search for the rough, hidden turnoff that leads to heaven. We must fight against the lure of the easy road. It is a fight, my friends; a fight to the death. Because that is the only way- the only way- we are going to discover that difficult trail to heaven. I ask you to remember this in the trials we are about to face.
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[04 Nov 2005|07:47pm] |
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Shut up and smile! - Bowling for soup |
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Wow things turned around real quick after my vacation to nowhere... ie
(I drove to random places) I ended up in colorado, and all I can say
about there is... The weather's nice!
Anyway, I got back and things were completely different (that is
to say, they were the same but improved.) I actually had an intelligent
conversation with justin, and me and randy are getting along quite well
(despite his taking too many days off for sickness) joseph's the same
as usual, weird HARDCORE WEIRD!
I feel completely refreshed and totally great, I think all I needed was
a vaca~ work still sucks, the manager took some vaca~ as well... and
even tho I am the more experienced she left heather in charge (maybe
its my smart alec attitude) but yeah!
ummm I'm pretty happy! more than just fine! I would say fabulous but
that would be a bit hmmm whats the word oh yea! Nice talking to you all
again.
okay! back to the new sport! bowl ball! inquire at your next visit!
( Read more... )
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| (I swear this will all end soon!) |
[29 Oct 2005|11:00pm] |
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Ahh... its great, I've found myself deleting people off of my cell (reason being is? no one calls me from those numbers!) If you wish to remain on this list please call once mabye twice. thank you
on to pressing matters... Ahh yes, this place is messed up! I hate the gay one... I refuse to acknowledge that heap of something, He's a jerk, a complete Idiot <-- (Capitol "I", and a pagan to boot! Randy on the other hand... is a whiny snobbish little brat who refuses to believe he can do no wrong, is screwing nikki's whore friend more aptly named... "The Genetic Toilet!" Joseph is the only one who is on my good side, he pays on time, says weird random junk all the time (kinda funny), and buys food and junk! And then theres ME! It turns out that I am a Crazy Psychopathic Freak! I hate the living tar outta my job, thanks to new and more incompetant manager who is a (insert evil word here)and is completely irresponsible, I cant stand half of the house mates that live here, I'm stressed out over money, And I am the only human creature here that actually takes the rent and everything else seriously, hey ummm... who left the stove on overnight?etc...
And for no crazy reason I'm going to beggining a fasting period... again.. I dont know why. spiritual purification, physical purification, crazy psychopathic thought? who knows? who cares? just use anyone of those ^ when you think about it... whatever sounds good to you!
g-night!
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